SINGLE PARENT- When you have to be both the Emperor AND the Empress !
Emperor: Authority, responsibility, structure, strength, wisdom, maturity, self-mastery
Empress: Motherhood, giving, sharing, compromise, love, compassion,joy, happiness
Parenting rule: If something's not good for your kid it generally isn't good for your kid at ANY age!
Scenario: So here you are, a single parent, struggling with playing both good cop and bad cop for your kid. No partner to balance your responsibilities and no one to soothe your kid when you are weilding the rod of discipline in your hand.
Your kid at that exact moment chooses to push his or her luck and your boundaries to see how far they can get you to give in to their wishes. You have already spent all day in your adult world, holding a job, running errands, troubleshooting problems at home and work, dealing with both monster bosses and domestic help that boss over you!
As a single parent, you endure all that and much more for your child who's at this moment looking lesser and lesser like the Apple of your eyeand more like a prickly Pineapple. What do you do?
You go ahead and be a PARENT. Giving in to momentary weakness just because you're too tired to say "no" is only going to make your job harder the next time your kid throws a tantrum. You would be indirectly teaching your child that if pushed enough you will say "yes" to things that you only yesterday you claimed was "bad" for her. You need to teach them the "why" of your discipline rather than treating it like a tug-of-war.You teach your kid that love and discipline can go together.
That it's the Empress in you that's making you behave like an Emperor.
Also, beware of well-meaning grandparents, neighbours, friends, acquaintances etc who tell you "oh! he's only a child". These are the same people who will turn around and blame you for not teaching your child when you should have. Love comes in many forms. Its easier to say yes every time but a lot harder to teach your child to responsibly navigate their lives. That's your only job! Please do it right. Take the harder route, one that maybe some days you cry because your heart rebelled against disciplining your child............
One day your kid will grow into up an adult who will see you,the single parent, as the Royal couple that crowned his or her life and make you proud. Until then, be the parent that will make your kid proud!